Looking

18217515_10210725289626517_1367612308_n

Sitting here, 3 a.m., no sleep again; my life without drink, this is it.
Getting sleep when you can, waiting for the next day, the same new shit.
I needed to get sober; I didn’t really have a choice, it was live or die,
Of course I wanted to live, but everything is scary or boring, can’t figure out why.

I see all the beautiful things out there, but all I feel is loneliness and fear,
I have so many who love me; I know this, but still I want no one near.
How long will it take so I can feel love, happy contentment that’s all real?
Everybody trying to help, but I won’t let anyone in, I don’t know what it’s like to feel.

At the end of the day, all I can do is wait and pray and hope,
For now I will stay sober, healthy, happy as I can and just cope.
I am just hoping to wake up and be happy and have a purpose in life,
People, God love them, pick me apart and advise me, but I need to fix my strife.

I have always done the exact opposite of what I’ve been told or advised,
And thinking of it, it’s probably the cause of my self-destruction and demise,
But not like getting help or assistance cause not wanting to look weak,
My life is just ifs and buts, do’s and don’ts while I continue to seek…..

LOOKING!!
DG

Advertisements

Published by

#Deamonsnightmaresthefight#

These are my words from my recovery.Being a alcholic even know my memory isnt the best i remember somethings that will always be in my memory.i just pray that no one wud ever have to go threw the life of addiction .

2 thoughts on “Looking”

  1. Stronger than you think cuz xxxx 😘
    Always said you were, but alcohol had the grip of the devil was always told oh you talk crap blah blah. I knew you wanted to stop. But me chatting to you wasnt gonna change your mind set. When Ryan told me you’d another bleed and your wee mate Stephen Grumble or whatever. I waited for a while. I phoned and checked on you every night
    Glad you seen the error of your ways xxx

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s